you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
