If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
