...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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