Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize