you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
