my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
