Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
