i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
