just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it hurts more in the daytime
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
