Need sex. Gaining weight.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
