hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
