I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You took a bar mat shot.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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