i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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