So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize