In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
