being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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