Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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