Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
