No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize