I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
