That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
