No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
