Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
my poor anus
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
