Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
