It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
