question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
