Dual....:-)
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Fuck appropriateness.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
