Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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