The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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