Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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