I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize