so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
