And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
