Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
