it wasn't lemon gatorade
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize