do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
