All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize