Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
