we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You took a bar mat shot.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
