you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
