One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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