my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
