They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
