So drunk, too bad you don't want this
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
50% drunk capacity currently
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
