you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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