Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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