Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
