the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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