Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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