Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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