Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
