I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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