I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
