it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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