You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
