I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
