Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
