How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize