i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
