I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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