She's JV to your varsity
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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