we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
