why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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