a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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