thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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