Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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