Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
